How are you? I hope you’re excellent too, because we’ve received some good news. Well, yes, our Umbra Birdie Hooks are flying off the shelves (that’s why they come with mounting hardware), but that’s not we’re announcing (but thanks for asking)! You might consider picking up a set, they come three to a nest and are the most well behaved pets you’ll ever have. Plus, they’re magnetic. I’m told that has healing properties; magnetic birds. Anway, why did we call this press conference? Sorry, I got distracted by these cute birds that live in the wall… oh, yeah, good news!
We’re proud to announce our STELLA Service Seal! Get it, like Stellar service? Hey, we didn’t write that one, they’re actually called that. The seal is given to those online retailers that provide excellent customer service. It’s not one of those Facebook awards that you win by popular vote, this is something we’ve really worked towards.
STELLA, who does such important work that they constantly shout their name in all caps, is an independent evaluating agency that has over 350 metrics they use to judge an online store’s customer service. Yes, from the ordering to returns, they experience it first hand and look at the resources retailers supply for customer help, satisfaction, and service. We’re very proud of our Excellent rating and promise not to let it go to our head, change our name to “Your Excellency,” or convert our warehouse into a castle. We’ll stick to providing excellent customer service and excellent products. That way, we can keep everyone happy by flipping the birds…. in our inventory. The Umbra Birdies magnet pets: they’re proud of us too.